My friends won't help me fix sewage pipes?

What kind of friends are these? I call my two buds yesterday and tell them I have leaking sewage under my trailer and if they will come help me fix it I'll buy them cold beer. So, they show up this morning -- we drive down to Lowes and buy some sewage pipe, glue and duct tape and when we get back to the house they don't want to get under cause it's 'so nasty..'. What a couple of p*****s. So I say fine, I'll get her done by myself. I have to admit -- it's REAL nasty under there. That pipe has been leaking for over a year and there is all sorts of critters and goo and mushrooms and spiders and roaches and a big pond of pee and poop. WTH -- dammit, I gotta fix it or the health dept guy will throw me out so I just lay in the goop while I saw off pipe, push and pull and cuss. Do you know those two b******s actually used my toilet and FLUSHED it on top of my head while I was under there working? I screamed so many cuss words that I was making'em up as I went!! Well, I finally got all done and crawled out from under the trailer and lemmie tell you I was covered in sewage from head to toe. I stood in the driveway and hosed myself off buck nekid and washed with Tide and threw my clothes in the dumpster. I still smell like s**t so now my 'friends' refuse to take me with them to the nudie bar tonight. What can I use to get this smell out pronto? I thought about washing in beer but I don't want to waste it. Does anyone else have problems like I do??